Journey Through Hurts and Trauma

Immediately after a crisis or experiencing a traumatic event, one needs to be stabilized in physical safety, emotional support, and an increase in the basic sense of control. After the dust settles and things return to certain normality, companion and support become important.

The best strategy for journeying through difficult times is to face it with trusted people.  When we encourage dialogue and talk through difficult emotions rather than brushing them off, we help the body heal, the mind to clear, and the emotions to be expressed healthily.  We can also provide safety and comfort for our children to continue to thrive and grow.  Safety in the environment and comfort by following daily routine also provides space to heal and gather strength.  As we gain the momentum of reorienting and gaining strength, we can review what happens, learn new coping skills, and renew supporting networks.

The following videos may promote further understanding of various levels of hurt and trauma that people go through.

7 Ways Childhood Trauma Follow You Into Adulthood

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N2oUfg7qNG0

The 5 Types of PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6GcEhUYoW9E

Helping Your Child Cope with Media Coverage of Community Racial Trauma: Tips for Parents

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Qtn2ZFx6ZM

Five Finger Prayer

Five Finger Prayer

Thumb: Those closet to you, your family members

Dear Heavenly Father,

Thank you for our Families and loved ones.

May you bring our families closer, to know, to care and support each other.

Give us grace to forgive, generosity to praise, gentleness to accept each other’s uniqueness.

We thank you for the fun time, the conversations, and the meals that we share.

In Jesus’ name, we pray, AMEN.

Pointer/Index:

Those that point you to the right direction (teachers, doctors, pastors), wisdom & the support

Dear Lord,

Thank you to our headmistress, teachers, counselors, tutors, coaches, and pastors.

May you give them wisdom and patience to guide us to find our true selves and not be lost in the crowd or human opinions.

May they guide us with truth, faith, love, and hope in our daily responsibilities.

Shower them with Your warmth, affirmation, and praise, for You are the Creator of all beautiful things. In Jesus’ name, we pray, AMEN.

Middle:

Those that lead and guide (leaders, government...)

Dear Lord and King,

We acknowledge that you have given government power and authority to administer peace and order.

Give the leadership courage and confidence to act in truth, justice, and peace for all.

May those who hold power use power humbly.  May those who hold resources use it fairly.  May those who have authority use it with love, compassion, and empathy.

In Jesus’ name, we pray, AMEN

Ring: Those who are closest to your heart, including yourself

Dear Lord,

Bless You, my Dear Heavenly Father!

I am created in Your image. I am learning to see ME through Your eyes.  You love all of me. I am discovering that my weakness is not to be pushed away but to embrace.  I am Your dear child, and You love me no matter what.

When I cry, you are there. When I laugh, you share my joy. When I struggle, you send help. When I am quiet; I sense Your presence.

In Jesus’ name, we pray, AMEN.

Pinky: Those that are weak, in sickness, in trouble or in pain

 Dear Jesus,

You do not make yourself equal with God but take on the likeness of humans to share our sorrow and pain.  Thank you for healing our sickness, forgiving our sins, and for giving us the privilege of becoming children of God.

You send us to share the good news to the poor, heal the sick, comfort the bereaved, and be a shepherd to the lost sheep. May your love increase in our hearts.

In Jesus’ name, we pray, AMEN.

Bring your five fingers to your heart and pray Ps. 18:1-3

I love you, Lord. You are my strength.

The Lord is my rock, my protection, my Savior.

    My God is my rock.

    I can run to him for safety.

    He is my shield and my saving strength, my high tower.

I will call to the Lord.

    He is worthy of praise.

Communication via Our Hearts

COMMUNICATION is helpful only when both parties are willing.  Often, we are blocked by intense anger or frustration that hinders our connections with our loved ones.  The ability to detect our emotional blockage and formulate what is helpful to say or refrain from saying facilitates the progress or deterioration.  

NON-VIOLENT COMMUNICATION is written by Dr. Marshall Rosenberg and practiced worldwide with government leaders, parents, and school personnel.  It has shown great effectiveness in linking hearts and expanding the capacity to understand each other's viewpoints.  It creates a deeper appreciation among family members who are willing to grow intimacy and support. 

NON-VIOLENT COMMUNICATION comes from a compassionate heart that is willing to understand the other party we are facing.  This form of communication goes beyond just hearing the content and words.  It has four components: Observation, Feelings, Needs, Requests.

Observation: 

The action is based on the mindful practices that we have already explored in the previous sessions.  We notice our senses, what we see, hear, smell, touch, taste, etc.  These observations will help us be more sensitized to who we are talking to and not just what we are facing.

Feeling: 

The internal experience is based on our physical sensations.  Our feelings will guide us deeper in empathy and appreciation of what the other person is going through.  This, in turn, brings us closer to the experiences that we are facing and listening to.  By expressing the other person's feelings, we are accepted as someone who can understand.  Trust builds, and the relationship is drawn closer.

Need: 

The universal experience is for our well-being.  It is created by God to help us not only to survive but to thrive.  When we connect with our needs, we can express and be met with satisfaction.  If we cannot express it, we may act passive-aggressively towards our loved ones for fear of losing them. 

Request:

This action, as expressed by the individual, is different from demand.  A request is less commanding, and it is future-oriented.  It allows the other party to respond at their convenience and not at the requesting person's immediate response.  It is clear in nature.  It may receive feedback for modifications, and it is actionable.  

Heart to heart communication is respectful, realistic, and reciprocating.